Independence- The thrills and the heartaches

When I found out that I was leaving for college, away from home, in a foreign country, my first thought was that, I was finally, finally gaining independence. Freedom from home, from the restrictions of family, the expectations and judgements of those around me.. I was finally free to be completely me, to change the image I normally have, without the worry of what people may think or feel about what I'm growing to be.

I came to university, full of hopes, dreams, resolutions to change and improve, to discover parts of me I didn't know I had.. To basically taste independence in every way. In the beginning, I felt the thrill of living alone, doing just as I wanted, going out whenever and wherever I wanted, without the bother of questions and admonitions to come home early, to eat on time, and basically everything parents seem to love saying. I made new friends, traveled to different places, had many new experiences like going to house-parties, ice-skating and walking around the city at night, midnight feasts with friends, to name a few, which I would never have done at home.

What I had failed to take into account before coming to university was that, now that I lived independently, I don't have my mother's shoulder to lean on after a hard day, her cooking my favorite meal just because I was sad, talks with my father, fights with my brother, and above all, the feeling that, whatever happens, they'll always be there, ready to help and support. At university, after a hard day, though you have friends to confide in, it just isn't the same. When you're independent, you have to learn to be your own support, your own strength. You have to learn to find your own happiness in little things- it could be in a walk in a park with music, a chat with old friends, a call to your parents, a good book, or an amazing dessert. You realise that you're the only one who can make you happy, and you're the only one who will be there for you the rest of your life. You have to learn to love yourself.

Independence may come with its own brand of excitement, but also with its own heartache. I think that, after coming to university, I've learned to enjoy the fun in independence, but also really appreciate what I had back home, the small joys, as well as the restrictions (well, those, not so much)

Something Worth Fighting For...

Within the span of 24 hours, about a hundred thousand people in various parts of the globe lost their lives, some due to natural causes, and others due to, well, some insane people's choices. This is not all. Everyday, we hear of horrific events.. Plane crashes, suicide bombings, school shoot-outs, plus smaller, but no less terrible happenings.. Rapes, domestic abuse, child abuse... It is not just about the people who have lost their lives, but the survivors as well. The people who have to live with what they have seen and experienced have it much worse.

It makes me wonder whether there still is hope left for the world, for humanity. What is equally as bad, is that, most people have started to take evil for granted, and seem to have developed indifference to it, rather than fighting back. Either that, or people start blaming innocent victims, hurling abuse indiscriminately, just because they belong to the same religion as the attackers. People have ceased to view others as human beings, having the same troubles, same fears, and the same flaws. They just need a scapegoat to take the blame, so that they can sit backward and fold their hands in pious resignation. Sometimes, it feels that, though the world has progressed in material achievements, it has only regressed in the more important qualities, such as common sense, love, and a basic sense of humanity.

Then again, just as we feel the darkness overwhelming us, we see some pin-pricks of light at the end of the tunnel, some silver lining to the clouds. We see the people of Paris welcoming the survivors into their homes and caring for them and countries rallying round to help the earthquake survivors. We see common people stepping forward to help, whether it is donating money, or giving time to physically aid the victims, regardless of race or religion. Though social media is quick to spread posts of grief, there is also a genuine feeling and willingness to help.

While this may not completely make up for the horror the world is going through, it does provide some hope that there still is something worth fighting for, something worth living for. We cannot let those who died for us down. The fight for good must go on.