Thursday, 23 October 2014

Being Yourself

Why is it that other people's opinions have become so important? Why do we let, and invite people to judge us for what we do? And most importantly, why do we make ourselves unhappy over all this?

Parents might judge us, if we do not conform to their idea of "ideal" children, with perfect grades, friends and ambitions. Friends may judge us, if we don't do or believe in what the rest of the "group" does. Teachers may judge or censure us, if we're not "good enough". And finally, society judges us if we don't lead the perfect lives- suitable careers, marriage, children.. The whole package.

If we don't stick to these norms, we're labelled as " different", and not "living up to expectations". We're just so hypnotized by what everyone expects, that we automatically follow the society's lead. Why is that, do you think? It means that, we're basically robots, programmed to think and do what someone else commands.

I know that a lot of people have already said this, but we should stop being robots. Lead our own lives. Dream. Follow those dreams. Be crazy. Sing that song on the stage, even if you have the worst voice in the world. Tell someone you love them. Take that road trip you've always dreamed of. Doing this will have consequences. Have the courage to deal with them. But lead your life, your own way. Cherish every moment. Have the confidence to tell everyone to go to hell! 

Be independent of everyone, in every way possible. Dependence just leads to expectations, which lead to disappointment. Nothing is worth our own peace of mind. 
Be free.

LIVE.

Monday, 22 September 2014

" Asking for It?"

This seems to have become the favourite phase of many "respected" politicians, "moral police", and much more recently, the media. They seem to think that, any woman, showing an inch of skin, is just asking to be objectified, and that she expects lewd comments, men pawing at her, and people writing her off as a "thing". Of course, why should the men be at fault? They were tempted and provoked to disrespect the lady's personal space; They were simply made to do it! And if they were a little out of line, well, "boys will be boys", as an absolutely charming politician put it!

What is really tragic is, that, the media house, instead of making a sincere apology, for showing flagrant disrespect, actually attempted to turn it around on the lady, and make it look as though she were the one at fault, and they were merely paying her a compliment! They attempted to actually justify what they did, by saying that they did nothing any other publishing house wouldn't have done ( which, by some convoluted logic, absolves them). To cap it all, they displayed some photographs of the actress modelling for calendars/magazines, which allegedly prove their point, i.e, the actress willingly posed for provocative photographs, therefore, she consents to be objectified, and reduced to nothing but a pair of body parts. She was asking for it, it is her fault!

In recent times, some politicians have also tried to justify rapes, saying that, the girl was at as much fault as the guy, as she willingly became friends with him, talked to him on the phone, and spent time with him. She tempted the boy, all but invited his assault! Therefore, in cases of rape, both the girl and the boy should be punished equally. Again, " she asked for it", therefore, use of cell phones should be banned for girls, as they are, apparently, one of the chief causes of rape. Nowhere does the boy's culpability come into the picture, except for an indulgent remark " Boys will be boys".

Even more frightening is the issue of marital rape, which is not even technically "rape" in the eyes of the law. The wife is at the mercy of the husband, who beats/rapes her at his will, and the law cannot even touch him. He effectively institutes such a system of mental and physical torture, that she's rendered completely helpless, and doesn't even dare to seek help. Even worse, many times, the wife's parents do not bother, saying that the wife must submit as her husband "wishes", and that it must be her fault that he was provoked into doing such things.

Where, in such a society, is there hope for women? Should they have to fight for basic respect, a right to personal space? Should they have to live in a place where, men use them for, either an object of entertainment, or a punching bag? Where the media objectifies them, passing comments on what they please, thus setting an example for others to follow? Women don't need patronizing remarks about how they should behave, or dress. They simply need to be respected as human beings. Is that too much to ask??

Monday, 14 July 2014

Why Religion?

Religion. One word that can divide people, friends, countries, and also unite them. What exactly is it?? For some, it is a way of life, for others, it is just a matter of belief in God, and something to blindly follow. Not many people actually bother to seek deeper into the things they believe, to understand the logic of why they believe it.

For any true believer in God, all religions are essentially the same. All preach good deeds, are anti violent, and earnest faith in a Higher Power. Why then, are so many religions formed, so many wars fought, so many lives lost? If people truly believe, then why do such terrible deeds in the name of God?

Religion, in the hands of some people, can also be a dangerous tool. It can be used to turn normal, peace loving people and friends, into instant enemies, for no good reason whatsoever. For instance, the British used it for their own ends to divide what had been a united, strong India, into two segmented nations, who have never been able to bury the hatchet, reach out, and actually shake hands. The Crusades were fought in the name of religion, Iraq is in complete disarray, Israel and Palestine, two neighbours, who should actually be the closest of friends, are fighting a terrible war, all because of communal differences, caused by a few dangerous people.

What is sad to note that, it is the common, innocent, peace loving people who are used as tools by a few, powerful, fanatics, in order to create discord, for their own ends. The common people of India and Pakistan probably bear no real ill will towards each other, but a few bigots create circumstances such that the countries are always in a state of animosity. The same goes with Israel and Palestine. Some religions, in particular, are portrayed as violent, and extreme, where, in reality, they are peaceful people, who just want to lead their lives. If they fight, it is to defend their own honour and lives.

When you actually look at life as a whole, which religion we follow or believe in (if we do) does not matter. It does not matter what name we give God, but if we actually behave as He (apparently) expects us to.

I wait for the day, when, two people of different religions can just sit down, over a cup of coffee, and discuss religion rationally, calmly, and actually be able to disagree. Then, laugh about it, because, in the end, we're all humans, and no religion, or any power can change that.

Thursday, 1 May 2014

Following your heart

Do we actually know what our heart wants? Do we ever actually listen to what it says? It is supposed to be our conscience, that inner voice guiding us, but we've always either ignored it, or silenced it. And now, its been silenced so long, that even if we want to, we don't hear it anymore. We forget how to dream.

The world these days is all about fulfilling other people's expectations: Our parents, school and teachers, society, friends.... Our life has ceased to be about US anymore, or perhaps it never was. We've studied in school to please our parents, to pass our exams, to get good grades. Life was one never ending marathon of competition and proving ourselves to everyone. Our hidden talent, and passions never have a chance. But at the end of it, have we ever asked ourselves: Now what? Do we really know where we want to go now? What should our direction be?

Its the lucky few who find their direction, their passion early in life, and get to make it their life's work. Those lucky few have the courage to change their world, to take a leap of faith, and are crazy enough to pursue it with their whole heart. The rest of us, again in college, take the subjects expected of us. College may be more liberating, but we're still not completely happy, because we still haven't figured out what we want of life. And we fear, by the time we really do, it may be too late. So we settle for what we can get: A well paying job, success, and a routine life. Our dreams may just fade away, just because we never took that leap of faith, because we weren't crazy enough to pursue that musical career, or become that romance author we've secretly dreamed of, or act in that one play, however bad it may be.

I know I should follow my own advice, but here's what I think. We have just one life, and we should live it for ourselves, not to prove anything to our parents, society or friends. We should be mad enough to take that impulsive back packing trip, to write that book we've always wanted to, to tell people we love them, regardless of consequences. Most of all, we should BE the person we really are, and let the world think what it will. Live your innermost dreams, because its your life, your gift.

Monday, 31 March 2014

Believe in Magic

I started believing in magic when I was a kid. Fairy-tales like Cinderella, Snow White and Beauty and the Beast always held a fascination for me, because it seemed like, if you were good, believed and had enough faith, a fairy godmother would always come, and give you a happy ever after ending.

My belief in magic changed, and got reinforced as I grew up, and read the Harry Potter series. It was somehow more believable than the fairy tales had been, because here there were no princesses.. There was just an ordinary boy, about the same age as I was, leading a normal life, when all of a sudden, magic came, and changed his world forever. I actually waited for a whole year, hoping to get my Hogwarts admittance letter! There were "sensible" people who indulgently told me, that its all fantasy, that magic does not exist in reality. While reading the series, I realized that the magic wasn't all casting spells and brewing potions, but in simple but powerful things: friendship, loyalty, love, bravery....

I may sound idealistic, but I very firmly believe that magic in fact does exist, and it is all around us, if we just know where to look.There's magic in every sunrise and sunset, in buds opening their faces to the sun, in a baby's first laugh. You can see it in the eyes of people falling in love, in friends reuniting after years, in jokes, laughter and tears shared, in the wonder and delight in the eyes of soon-to-be mothers, in a beautiful piece of music, in dreams coming true. The whole world is steeped in magic, beauty and happiness, with a little sorrow to round things out. We only need to believe, keep faith, and we truly will get our happy ever after endings.

I would just like to finish with this one quote:

“Happiness can be found in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.”
- Albus Dumbledore


Thursday, 27 February 2014

Coming home...



Annabeth lay on her bed, devastated. Her life was in shreds. She had, without any warning, lost her job. Her friends had deserted her. She had barely enough money to make ends meet. She felt like life had no purpose left.
Annabeth felt utterly, absolutely alone.
How had this happened? Only a week back, she had an amazing job, popular friends, money to burn, and the most fun she'd ever had. Her life had been a whirlwind of parties, work and constant enjoyment. All of a sudden, it felt gray and hopeless, with no prospect of any colour returning to it. Her "friends" had apparently already forgotten her, or pretended not to know her when she passed them on the street.
Unbidden, a long ago almost-forgotten memory flashed into her mind.. That of two girls laughing together at a silly movie, poking fun at almost every line. Annabeth smiled.. Her best friend Hermione, back in London. Such happy times they'd had together.. Teasing each other, laughing at inside jokes, crying on each others' shoulders..... All the memories suddenly rushed back.
Annabeth and Elizabeth had grown up together in London. They lived next door to each other, and became best friends from the age of six. They were complete opposites in looks and character...
Annabeth was a vivacious and pretty blonde, always laughing at something. She was very outgoing and extremely friendly to everyone she met, and in consequence was one of the most popular girls in school. Annabeth was, at times, a little thoughtless, but no one could resist her big blue pleading eyes, and the obvious sincerity in her manner. She was very impulsive, and often rushed into trouble without thinking, especially if it meant protecting those she loved.
Hermione, in contrast, was a cool and quiet brunette. She was not as good looking and popular as Annabeth was, but she made up for it in sweetness. She never refused anyone who asked her help, and was very gentle with those who needed it. Her juniors adored her. Hermione also had an extremely strong sense of justice and a will of steel. She could not see anyone being treated unfairly, and was always the first to stand up in defence of them. Her calm but firm voice always had the desired effect, and few people argued with her.
These two girls were poles apart, but fit like no one else could, or did. Annabeth livened up Hermione's life and made her laugh. Hermione quelled Annabeth's too-impulsive pursuits and always pulled her out of scrapes.
They were best friends in every sense of the word. They did everything together, from playing together in their childhood, to sharing secrets as they grew older and crying on each others' shoulders.. They formed a bond which nobody or nothing could break, and knew absolutely everything about each other. Everyone and everything else was relegated to second place.
When they were eighteen, they faced the first real tragedy: Hermione's father died because of a heart attack. Hermione had a lot to do, with taking care of her mother, and dealing with her own grief. Her father had been everything to her, her mentor, teacher and biggest encouragement. Losing him was a terrible blow. Annabeth was her rock during this time. She stayed at their house, and helped Hermione with all the arrangements which had to be made, besides holding her hand during the funeral. Hermione would have broken down without her support.
Because of Annabeth, she recovered soon, and was even able to laugh after a while. Hermione was extremely grateful to her friend for being there, and realized how lucky she was to have Annabeth in her life. When she mentioned this to her, Annabeth waved it off saying “This is what friends are for! If you’d been in my place, you would have done the same!”
Time passed. Both of them grew up, and the bond between them only grew stronger. Annabeth became an assistant publisher in one of the big firms in town, while Hermione became an English professor at the local college.  Both were extremely well suited to the careers they’d chosen. It seemed like life was perfect, and they could go on like this forever.
How wrong they were!
One day, Annabeth came to Hermione in a whirl of excitement. She’d got an excellent offer from a publishing firm in New York. Hermione, after hearing the news, was equally thrilled, and at once started encouraging her friend to go ahead and grab the opportunity. Annabeth was, at first, a little hesitant about accepting it, as it would mean separation from her family and friends. Hermione reminded her that opportunities like this don’t come every one’s way, and of course she had to go!!
Annabeth saw the wisdom of her arguments, and finally agreed. Then came the excitement of planning, packing, and getting ready for New York. They finally got Annabeth ready to go in two weeks. Then came the day all of them had been dreading, the day, Annabeth had to leave.
She had an emotional parting with her family at home, making several promises to keep in touch, and come to visit as soon as possible. Hermione then came to drop her to the airport. They both said little on the drive, each not feeling the need to talk. They were so attuned to each other that they didn’t need words to say what they felt.
Then, they reached the departure gate. They both hugged tight, each trying hard not to burst into tears. Finally, the goodbyes had to be said. Annabeth said “You’re the one person I love the most, and I want you to know, that I’ll never forget you. You’ll always, always be my best friend, and there’s no one who can replace you. Remember that, I’ll be there whenever you need me.” Hermione said “You’ll never be alone as long as I’m here. Just say the word, and I’ll be there before you know it.” They held hands till the last possible moment.


When Annabeth landed in New York, she stepped into a new world. Skyscrapers, glamorous stores, colours and sound everywhere. People always seemed to be moving in a hurry, as if they simply had to get to their destination before everyone else. She was met at the airport by a colleague at the firm she was to work in, and was taken a huge apartment, which overlooked Central Park. Annabeth was speechless. She was just taking in all the sights, and her new home, not quite able to believe that all this was real, or just part of a dream.
She immediately called Hermione, and spent an hour describing everything to her. She was beyond excited, that she was going to be part of such a magical city.  Annabeth couldn’t wait to start her new life!!
On her first day of work, she went to her office, a little apprehensive about the place and the people she would be exposed to. She followed the directions she’d been given, and when she finally reached, she couldn’t believe her eyes. Where she had been expecting a professional looking office, with a quiet air of dignity, and a hushed atmosphere, she found an open loft, with posters of authors and musicians all over the walls, and a party atmosphere. People were calling out to each other, joking loudly, and generally appeared to be having the time of their lives. No workstations and serious looking people tapping away on their computers.
They gave Annabeth a cheerful and loud welcome, and immediately put her at ease. They were so friendly and laid back, that soon, Annabeth began to feel like she had always belonged there. At first, she was a little shocked at the amount of time they spent in having fun, as every day they seemed to be out on two hour lunch breaks, shopping trips, planning road trips, parties.. Their main focus was to have a good time.   
Annabeth soon got used to it, and because of her outgoing nature, became a popular figure in the group. She insensibly started spending more money than she had, buying expensive clothes, throwing frequent parties in her apartment, clubbing… The glamourous lifestyle had completely turned her head, and all sense had flown straight out the window.
She started losing touch with people from home, and even if she did call, talked for a bare five minutes before rushing off again. She started picking petty fights with them, for no reason. Hermione became the main victim. She was genuinely concerned for Annabeth, and was alarmed at how much she seemed to be spending, especially as it was beyond what she could really afford. Hermione tried reasoning with Annabeth, but in vain.
At last, one day, they had a particularly ugly fight. Annabeth accused Hermione of being jealous of her lifestyle and friends. She thought Hermione was afraid of being replaced, and was being overly and unreasonably possessive. Hermione at first tried to reason with her, but Annabeth started turning nasty. Hermione’s temper, when roused could become terrible too, and she finally said that she washed her hands off the whole affair, calling Annabeth irresponsible, unreasonable and mindless. Both then declared they never wanted to see each other ever again.
So blinded had Annabeth become, she had alienated the one person who cared for her the most.
She did experience a twinge of conscience after the fight, and considered calling back, and trying to talk to Hermione again. After all, Hermione hadn’t meant any harm. But her friends appeared at that moment, calling her to get ready for a party, and the whole affair washed out of Annabeth’s mind.
Thus, life went on for Annabeth. Her job did not demand much work or application of mind, and after a while, the daily fun and parties began to take a toll on her. She began to experience a vague dissatisfaction, but would not admit to it to anyone. Annabeth also experienced a slight shock, when she saw the bills which had begun to pile up. Suits from Gucci and Armani, accessories from Bloomingdale’s and Zara’s, shoes, bags .. Heavens, had she really spent so much so quickly? But she quieted her conscience, by assuring herself that her next month’s salary would more than cover everything.
After a few months, she started hearing disturbing whispers at work. Whispers about a possible takeover, and layoffs. She was a little alarmed at first, but soon dismissed them as rumours. She never, for one second, thought that her job may be in jeopardy. Two weeks went by, and she felt more and more secure that nothing bad would happen.
Then, out of the blue, the unthinkable happened. One day, her boss called her to his cabin. She went, without suspecting anything was wrong. He told her in the kindest possible words, , but firmly, that she would have to go, and immediately. He told her about the takeover, by a huge conglomerate, and how half the employees have been asked to leave.
To Annabeth, all this was simply a buzz in her ears. The only thing her mind could register was.. She. Had. Lost. Her. Job. She left the cabin in a daze, still not able to take the news in. It was several minutes before she registered that one of her friends was speaking to her. She shook her head and asked “What?” She seemed to be talking about a road trip. Annabeth could not believe her ears. Here, her world was crashing, and all her friends seemed to be thinking about was some road trip. Just because their jobs were safe, they didn’t have the sensitivity or concern to see that others hadn’t been that lucky.
She walked out of the office, still in shock. No one even bothered to say a goodbye, or to look in her direction. Friendship, true friendship simply did not exist in their world. People came and went. Attachments weren’t worth forming.
She reached her apartment. Suddenly, the house she had taken for granted seemed all important, when she considered that she might have to leave it soon. She couldn’t even consider the possibility of being homeless, of not having a roof above her head. She lay on her bed, in a hopeless state of mind, trying to think of some way out, anything that could even help her survive. This was a far cry from someone who, only the week before, had been entertaining on a big scale every week!
Annabeth felt utterly, absolutely alone.
She suddenly missed her home life intensely. Most of all, Hermione. Annabeth’s heart ached when she relived all the memories which she had shared, with her one true friend. Most of all, she hurt when she remembered the vicious, petty things she had said to Hermione, when she had only been trying to help. More, she had been proved right, hadn’t she?
Annabeth picked up the phone and dialed Hermione’s number, hesitated, and then cut it off. Again, dialed, and just as the phone began to ring, cut it off. She did it three or four times, and then, finally got courage, and let it ring.
She heard three rings, and then a voice saying “Hello”. Annabeth nearly burst into tears at the sound of the sweet, clear, familiar voice. She couldn’t speak for a few seconds. Then Hermione asked “Annabeth?” She couldn’t help it then, she started crying. She then started apologizing again and again, saying that she’d been selfish and horrible to say all those things to Hermione, when she knew that she hadn’t meant any harm, or had been jealous and insecure.  Hermione just listened patiently until all her words gave out. After Annabeth got everything off her chest, Hermione told her that there had never been anything to worry about, and “friends never do hold grudges, especially for silly things”. Her uncomplicated sweetness just sent Annabeth into tears again, but she also felt like a great weight had been taken off her chest.
Annabeth then told Hermione all about spending more money than she ought, making friends with the wrong type of people, and finally losing her job. Hermione listened patiently, and sympathetically, and gave Annabeth some sensible and wise advice. Annabeth did not feel quite so lonely and hopeless after this. Just talking to her best friend had lifted her spirits so much, she felt ready to try anything and everything.
But the best surprise of all was to come after two days. In the afternoon, Annabeth was sitting at a desk, researching jobs, when she heard a knock at the door. Thinking it to be the postman, she went to open the door. When she did, she simply couldn’t believe her eyes. She suddenly felt light headed, like she was about to faint. Gathering courage, she reached out slowly, and clutched at her visitor’s hand, like she was making sure it was real. The visitor held out her arms, and pulled Annabeth into a hug. It was! It really was Hermione!
Both clung to each other, laughing and crying at once. Annabeth still couldn’t believe it, that the person she was most longing to see, was really there, in front of her. There were no words needed between them. They knew each other too well for that.
Annabeth and Hermione finally felt like they’d come home.

Wednesday, 8 January 2014

Blessed Solitude

Since the past few days, I've been getting up early to walk, just so that I get an hour to myself. Getting up early may be a pain initially, but that quality time you get with yourself makes everything worth it.

I reach the terrace at around 6:30, when its light, but the sun is not yet up. The breeze is cool, the sky gray, everything's quiet, and its like the world is washed clean. Every day it is beautiful, and it is a beauty you can never tire of. This is the time I keep for dreams, for thinking about hopes and ambitions, because just at this time, anything seems possible. The way forward seems clearer, somehow. I always believe that quality time with yourself is really important, because we are our own best friend, best judge and best critic.

And then, the sunrise. The sight which makes the pain of getting out of a warm bed worth it. The sky in different hues of pink, yellow and orange, and the sun slowly becoming visible. It signifies a new beginning, another chance to make things go right, and above all, it signifies hope. That no matter what happens, life goes on, and there are always second chances.

After an hour's walk, I sit for a while, listening to music, with cool breeze on my face, not thinking, just feeling. Deep contentment. Best part of my day :)