Looking Back on 2013

2013 has been an eventful year, in more ways than one. It has had its share of highs and lows. But this year has had many things to learn from.
For one, I've experienced failure for the first time. Up till then, what ever I'd attempted had always been fairly successful, and I'd probably been taking it for granted. But failing an exam, a really important exam at that, gave me the shake up and reality check I needed, and it taught me never to take anything for granted. What it has also taught me, is that you always have second chances, and one failure isn't the end of the world. Life is so much bigger than that!

Secondly, I've learnt that insecurities are not worth keeping close, as they hurt no one but ourselves. The worst thing anyone can do, is constantly think about what other people are thinking about you. As long as you're secure, nothing else matters.
Thirdly, value the people who respect your worth. Forget those who don't. I've learnt this lesson the hard way. Obsessing over those friends who suddenly forget about you, who simply don't have time for you anymore doesn't help; It just gives you a lot of pain. Forget them, because they're just not worthy of your tears. Family is the best support there is.. Don't ever let go of them.
Fourthly, learn to forgive. This lightens the burdens and gives you closure. Opens the door to happiness.
Lastly, live life to the fullest. Enjoy, savour every drop of it. Remember the happy memories, let go of the sad ones, but learn from every experience you've ever had.
For me, this is the year before life in the real world finally starts, and I'm enjoying every bit of it! Possibilities are many, and are just around the corner. I can't wait to find them out!!! I've determined that 2014 is going to be the best year ever!!!

A letter to myself twenty years from now

Hello,

This may seem weird, but its your past self checking up on you.I have a vision of myself twenty years from now, and I really hope you've fulfilled at least part of it. Here are my hopes and expectations of you:

First, and most importantly, I hope you're a good person, a person to depend on. I hope you've kept and intensified the trust people have in you, and your relationships (friends and family) are intact. Remember, that nothing is more important than winning and keeping love, trust and respect.

Secondly, I hope you've become wiser and open minded. You should be open to learning from people, places and circumstances. You should have become less impulsive, and less presumptuous in making decisions. You should also have learnt to express/articulate yourself better, and have definite opinions.

Thirdly, you should be the best or at least one of the best in your chosen field. As of now, I don't know what that field will be, but whatever it is, you should have acquired the necessary drive and will to push yourself to be the best. There should be an unquenchable spark of spirit in you to go through with the task you've started, and be better than anyone else at it.

Fourthly, I hope you've seen the world, travelled and experienced as much as your heart wishes. I think, to have a really well rounded life, travel is absolutely imperative, and I don't only mean prosperous cities. I mean, the rural areas, the less economically stable places too. This way, you have a fuller appreciation of life, and the compassion to do more for others less fortunate. Which brings me to my next point.

You should, in some way, have given back to society, in a substantial respect. Whether, it is volunteering as a teacher for a few months, or just spending time with those who need it, you must make at least one life happier, because you have been in it.

Lastly, but definitely not the least, make people proud that they have known you. Be it your parents, friends, family.. They should be better for having you in their life. Follow your dreams, and help others to achieve theirs.

Two quotes come to mind, which seem particularly apt:

Up to a point, a man’s life is shaped by environment, heredity and movements and changes in the world around him. Then, there comes a time when it lies within his grasp to shape the clay of his life into the sort of thing he wishes to be. Only, the weak blame parents, their race, their times, lack of good fortune, or the quirks of fate. Everyone has it within his power to say, “This I am today; that I will be tomorrow.

- Louis L'Amour

To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the 
affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and

endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the

best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy

child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life

has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson, writer and philosopher (1803-1882)

Bye :)

 

 

Seriously?? Is that the best you can say???

JKR, as always, nails it with this one. Why, is it that, even after we achieve something big, one of the first things we hear is that, "You've lost so much weight!!" or, more insultingly, " You look so tired, and worn out. That silly work has taken such a toll on you!" I mean, why is it so hard to say "Congratulations! I'm really happy for you", and mean it!!

I've often wondered, is it really because people are so shallow and close minded, or is it the envy talking? At times, even those, whom you thought were friends, simply don't seem to get it! They simply don't get how important your achievement is, to you!

Sadly, this seems to apply more to women, than men, and particularly in India. Even now, in a supposedly gender neutral society, women achievers are not given the appreciation and recognition they deserve. People simply don't take them seriously. If a woman has done something really great, like written a wonderful book, or risen to a high position in a company, many men (and sadly, women too) automatically assume that it was a fluke, or luck, and that the lady would never be able to rise to the challenge, and stick it out to the finish. They laugh at her, if she actually takes an initiative to grow in her career, and actually repress/discourage her. Worst of all, they are patronizing and disdainful. This includes some of the "educated" families as well.

People should be appreciated for what they are, and not who they are. The Hermiones, Nevilles and Lunas of the world should be celebrated, not the Malfoys and Pansy Parkinsons, however more attractive they may be.

If I lived alone I would...

Having lived my entire life so far with my parents, trying to imagine what it would be like living alone...

I would wake up early, to the sound of birds chirping, and the sunlight lightly falling across my face. Stand out in the porch, and feel the cool morning breeze on my skin, and go for a walk :)
Probably then make myself a quick breakfast, and eat it while looking out at the busy scene outside the window; vendors hawking their wares, friends greeting each other sleepily, shops raising their shutters....

Catch a quiet lunch by myself, or a fun meal with friends, while looking forward to a quiet evening by myself. I might pick up something sinfully chocolate ( Maybe a chocolate filled eclair, or a cake with heavy chocolate frosting) to cheer myself up with ;).  Once I'm home, I would immediately put on something comfortable, and if I'm in the mood, head to the kitchen. I might cook something fun, and enjoy every bit of it. Then, the part of the day I would most look forward to. I would head to the most comfortable couch near the window, and the best company: A million decadent calories and my favourite book :). I would dream and read, and be utterly at peace.

The best part, is that, every day I come home, I can look forward to an evening entirely to myself, or if I have an urge to see people, friends to party with. It will be as I choose :)

The importance of a good heart

How many times have we heard " Forgive him, his intentions are good." As a result, we reluctantly, grudgingly do acknowledge that he hasn't done such a bad thing after all. We recognize in that person a good heart, and intention to help.

Whereas, some people, they seemingly, outwardly might help, but in the process might be extracting their "pound of flesh", like Shylock did. It very often might be too late, by the time their true colours are shown. Trust doesn't come easily to me, and I hardly open my heart to anyone. But what I do is, I look out for these signs.

A good heart has several signs:

1. a tendency for the owner to be there whenever you need them, whether you want them at that moment or not.

2. An instinct for your moods, and the best thing to say

3. A tendency to hug, and say" No matter if you've murdered somebody, I'm there to help you bury the body"

4. If you wandered off without telling, they're the only ones brave enough to say, and say sharply " You're an absolute idiot! What if something had happened to you?", and then slap you, when you need it!

5. They're the ones who'll keep you company, if you're locked outside the house and don't have the key.

I'm really lucky that I actually do have friends who would do all this for me, and so much more.
Watch out for these signs, and when you do find them in a person, never let them go!!

Those small yet unforgettable moments!!

That awesome moment when you make a new friend, and life just feels perfect :)

That moment when you meet a best friend after months and you share that one tight hug!!!

That awkward moment when you meet a senior at a late night movie.

That feel-good moment when you meet a friend at office, and you both end up going late to work because you simply had to catch up :)

That amazing moment when your senior puts his faith in you and gives you a really important job :)

That moment when your best friend calls you really late just because they're locked out of their house and cant get inside, and you go just to keep them company!

That moment when your team wins an award and you just go cheering all around office :)

That moment when you've been assigned to work with your best friend, or they're working right next door!!

That moment when your friend stays back at work with you, even though it's 9:30 pm

Those moments when you just are with your best friends, not doing much.. Just talking.

That moment when you're upset, and your friend is just there, to hold your hand :)

That moment when your friend's in trouble, and you're the first person they think of.

That moment when you open your heart to your friend, and they understand like no one else :)

That moment when your best friends give you a surprise party on your birthday :)

That moment when you're sad, and your friend messages just then, with just a Hi :)

5 Things “Loving Yourself” Actually Means

It’s the age-old supposed cure-all for all of life’s woes (especially involving matters of the heart): “loving yourself first.” I don’t know how many times I’ve had to hear this, but I imagine the number is up there because what I do know is how many times I’ve thought to myself: what does that even mean. Because it used to sound to me like some weird form of narcissism or delusional way of not acknowledging anything wrong you’ve done. It used to sound like it meant you shouldn’t take responsibility for yourself, or something like that. But low and behold, I’ve come to the conclusion that it actually means loving yourself because you are a flawed person, and despite the fact that you are imperfect. And while I’m at it, here are some other things that I think loving yourself really means:
1. Having the courage to forgive yourself. It means being able to acknowledge your humanity, your wrongdoing, but to not let it be a source of internal hatred. To understand that not forgiving yourself is the harshest criticism, and that nobody in your life will be able to love you until you forgive yourself for being human. Embrace your perfectly flawed self; it’s what makes the world so beautifully diverse and interesting.
2. Understanding that not your weight, nor your hair color, nor your choice of clothing, nor the funny way your stomach rolls when you slouch down makes you any less attractive than anybody else. There is not only one way to be beautiful, and loving yourself means realizing your own beauty for what it is, not in the context of how you look compared to anyone else (especially the nauseatingly perfect people in magazines).
3. That you have the choice to do what you love or to continue living a life being submissive to the expectations put on you. Loving yourself means understanding what makes your soul happy, and doing that thing as frequently as you’re able. Regardless of how much money you make, regardless of who judges you for it, and regardless of whether or not you’re wildly successful doing it. All you need to be successful is the knowledge that you are doing what you love most.
4. That not everyone will love you, and that not everybody has to. If you are being true to yourself, and somebody has a problem with that, that is their negative energy to deal with, not yours. Loving yourself means knowing that you will never have the love, praise and approval of absolutely everybody you meet, but that doesn’t reflect anything about who you are.
5. Understanding that you have to love yourself before you can love anybody else, or before anyone else can love you. A relationship filled with anxiety, self-doubt, insecurity, etc. is headed for Hell, and I don’t think that’s news to anybody. You have to feel worthy of love, and that comes from loving yourself. How is someone else going to think you’re totally awesome when even you don’t think you are? A: they’re not. The greatest thing loving yourself means is that once you do, you’re better equipped to let the world love you as well.

People Watch

There are three types of people in this world:

Some people are naturally "for" the people.. Those who can immediately connect into a group, instantly become popular and eventually the leader. They leave a mark on every person they touch, and others only gaze after them in awe, perhaps envy. They are idolised, at least for that phase. But I've also seen that many times, such people are also the most insecure, always seeking attention, adulation and approval from others. Popularity is extremely fickle, and respect not easily earned. Also, very often, they are very lonely, even right in the midst of a crowd. They have very few close friends.

Others are the "quiet leaders". Without seeming to do much, they always manage to swing the group their way, because they earn respect, and their opinions carry weight. They may not always be the life of the group, but they are definitely the soul. They have a few close friends whom they keep close, and don't really care what the world thinks of them. In spite of, or perhaps because of their non- flamboyance, they capture everyone's hearts.

The third type of person is the indifferent. They are content to follow the crowd, simply because they don't care enough, or are afraid to voice their opinion. They may have brains, but are simply too lazy to use them, or think it's cool to pretend not to care. After a while, they are simply not noticed and fade into the background.

They say that it takes all types of people to make this world. I agree. If all these types of people and temperaments wouldn't exist, life would be extremely dull.

Every person you meet is part of your story. Some may be integral parts, while some you may simply brush off. We choose whether to add that spice in our story, or simply leave it bland :)

14 Things That Show You What Actually Matters To You

1. The things you’re able to write honestly about.

I know it’s not for everybody, but I really take refuge in writing, especially in a personal journal where I’m not worried about censoring myself for an audience. It’s in these moments of vulnerability and honesty that the things I most genuinely believe and struggle with come forth. I see the trends in what these things are, and many elements of who I most genuinely am are intertwined in them. You are who you are when you’re honest and uninfluenced by the fear of being judged by others.

2. The reasons why you can’t let go of someone, not just the fact that you can’t.

Sometimes we hang around because we don’t want to be alone, or we are so concerned with being loved that the alternative seems unbearable. It’s not the fact that you’re holding on, it’s the reasons why you’re holding on… they’ll say a lot about you.

3. The things you insist on holding on to.

It’s not always a person or a relationship. Sometimes, it’s ideas about ourselves or literal, physical things or even jobs we don’t want or goals we are adamant about achieving. It’s difficult to let go of the things that you use to define yourself, but when you do, you can actually find yourself.

4. The quotes or lyrics that resonate with you and comfort you; you recognize something of yourself in them.

When people share quotes or lyrics on social media it’s usually because there is something they are trying to communicate. They recognize a truth in whatever beautiful, artistic way someone else was able to put it, and it’s easier than simply stating things that aren’t always pleasant to admit. Essentially, look for the things you are most drawn to in art. It’s touching on something inside of you.

5. The moments that you cry without wanting to.

Some very specific moments come to mind when I think of this, and it really has everything to do with recognizing the things that you are so inherently invested in that you are driven to the edge by them. You’re influenced by a force that is far greater than anything in your finite control.

6. The reasons you are crying, and the things you’re crying for.

When you’re upset about something you know is irrelevant or you keep acting out toward loved ones who have not done anything wrong, there is something deeper brewing that is coming forth with the same strength that you are using to oppress it. Try to come to terms with the real reasons you’re lashing out.

7. The thoughts that don’t lessen.

There is some saying that goes, note the things that you think about first thing in the morning and last before you fall asleep. It’s usually a person, but not always. But really, let your thoughts show you where your heart is. It’s a difficult task, because your thoughts can very often be irrational and untamed, but if you’re able, see where your heart leads your mind.

You should like Thought Catalog on Facebook here.

8. The moments you accept what you cannot change.

There are few things more beautiful than the day you decide to start doing this. It’s the moment you choose to be okay because you understand that you cannot control anything but how you react to a situation, and how you continue on with your life.

9. The day you understand that you are in control of your life.

It is far too often that people place blame on everybody else when really, you can either sit in your misery or you can do something and change your life. You can think of a hundred excuses as to why you can’t, or why you should hold on a bit longer, or why change and acceptance is impossible, but you’re not providing any sound reasoning. It will still, and always, come back to: it won’t change until you change it.

10. The moment you choose to do what you want, because you want.

It’s when you really, honestly don’t care about what someone else will think. You’ll know you have arrived when you aren’t thinking to yourself, oh, I don’t care what they think, so I’ll do this, but rather, wow, I really want to do this, and I’m going to. It’s when you don’t even acknowledge or give your time or energy to worrying about the opinions of people who do not matter.

11. The moment that you finally understand what it is that you want.

Sometimes I struggle with the fact that I know what I want, but I don’t want to admit it. I think it sounds silly. I think it makes me sound weak. I think I have to be misguided and there is something else I could want more… but no, it’s just that I’m afraid of really acknowledging what I want, for the fear that it will never come. All that matters is that you know what it is you want more than anything. You don’t have anything to prove to anyone, and you don’t need to be ashamed. It’s something only you need to know.

12. The things you are still willing to sacrifice anything for.

Very simply put, they are the things that still matter to you, even if you feel like you’ve given up caring about everything else.

13. The ways you plead with God or the higher universe.

There is something I hear people say a lot when praying to God, whoever that is, and it’s: please God, don’t let this happen. The key there being, “don’t let.” As if God were some preventative force that could maneuver fate or what it is you’ve attracted or created in your life. Realize that the belief that God is within each person is valid in many ways, and you should tap into that expanse to do for yourself what you’re waiting for someone else to take care of.

14. The light you finally find, and what it is for you.

What does the resolution look like? When you had the breakthrough, and the epiphany, what was it? The light at the end of the tunnel is different for different people, and what it is will tell you most of what you are looking to know.

Courtesy- Thought Catalog

My dreams

My dreams, hereto confessed:

1. Dream No. 1: To fall in love, and to be the best friend I can possibly be.

2. Dream No. 2: To write a romance novel

3. Dream No. 3: To be an immensely successful CEO, whom the world will point at with pride.

4. Dream No. 4: To be an actress on the stage.

5. Dream No. 5: To be a playwright.

6. Dream No. 6: To live on my own.

7. Dream No. 7: To travel the world.

Outlet

Sometimes, I wish there was someone I could really talk to... Someone I could trust completely. So far, I've never let any one inside.. I always have feared betrayal, or worse, mockery. The weird part is, I've come close, several times, with a few people, but have always drawn back at the last moment, because I somehow felt they wouldn't be able to empathize.

I usually enjoy keeping my thoughts, wishes and feelings to myself.. But right now, I feel I'm about to burst any moment, with all the hate, jealousies, spite and resentment bottled up so tight. I have to work hard to maintain a pleasant facade, but I fear that cracks have begun to appear. The negativity is bursting at the seams and some of it is spilling out. I used to have a reputation for endless patience, but that same patience is fading, and fast. These days, I snap at each and every person for the smallest things, and think uncharacteristically poisonous things!! I see my friends looking at me strangely....

I desperately wish I could live alone!! I don't really want to answer to anyone, or account for every second of my time. I don't want to have to justify my friends or my feelings. I want to make mistakes, stumble, and get back up, without having to depend on anyone. Till now, I've always been dependent on my parents, and I'm genuinely grateful to them, but I want to start my life, on my terms!! I will answer to no one!!!

I'm sure I sound ungrateful and spiteful, but thats how it is! Right now, I feel useless and stupid, and perhaps thats my fault. But I have this constant feeling that people are looking over my shoulder, and I hate it!!

The Journey of a CA Student (Part 2)

Second Year: This is the time when the most important part of CA starts.. Articleship and CA Final...
Having got selected into, say, a Big 4, you come to office on the first day, with stars in your eyes and visions of making a difference. Yet, the first day is NOTHING like you expect it to be. It goes something like this:
You're nervously waiting in the reception, when the rep from HR comes and ORDERS you to a conference room to sit down for induction. You look around and see that a few other people also share the same predicament and also appear equally terrified. Then, the torture of the first day begins- with an apparently endless round of Powerpoint presentations about what to do and what not to do (more of the latter :P). In the end, you feel you would have to trip over your own feet in order to obey all the rules :D. You're then taken off by your "buddy" to meet the rest of your department, and you get trapped into another endless whirl of faces and names and designations ( I was lucky, though. I met a few people who ended up as some of my best friends :) ).
The second day is, if possible, even more scary. You reach the audit department and you see a lot of professional looking people busy at their own work. You sit nervously at a desk, and hope someone notices you before long. At last, a kind person takes pity on you, and starts you off with simple work- data entry or casting or worst, printing :P. You take it up gratefully, but are also aware that everyone around works faster and so much more efficiently!!! By the end of the day, the ultimate happens: You're assigned to your first ever client!!!! You're surprised to see that it's already 6:30 pm, but when you make a move to go, so many people stare at you as if you've just killed a person ( You learn later that it is practically a sin to leave before 7:00 pm, and then only if you don't have work!!! ). You meekly stay back, and pretend to look busy. At 7 pm, you cant take it anymore, and bolt. So ends your first official day at work :D.
 The first week and then month pass in a blur. You start client work, and quickly learn that all your ideas about " making a difference" were just those- ideas. You learn the "art" of documentation, and the skill to extract information from the client without offending, the "Tests of Details" and "Test of Controls"... the list is endless. But, you learn, and soon gain confidence :). Meanwhile, you also start recognising faces, making friends, and slowly, you begin to enjoy office, instead of dreading it :). ( Again, I was lucky, because I met some amazing people :) :) ).

The Journey of a CA Student (Part 1)

This is something every CA Student will be able to relate to.... The frustrations, restrictions, hopes, joys, disappointments,.... All these are part and parcel of a CA student's journey.

1. The First Year: Well, this is the easy part. Right after Class 12, join coaching for CPT. Work hard, but have a good time too. The most challenging part at this stage is the competitiveness, doing better than your friends (hopefully, getting a rank). You never once doubt but that you'll pass. Failing just isn't an option. Just an extension of school. You write the exam, pass, bask in the glory and start the nine month preparation for IPCC.

Now, IPCC isn't a piece of cake, but not exactly rocket science either. Seriousness slowly sets in... You start doing homework, revising slowly, but still manage to have fun :). It becomes a substitute for the college life we never get to experience. Doubts may begin to creep, but, as you might never have contemplated failing an exam before, you would'nt take these seriously. The syllabus is big, but not altogether overwhelming. Time passes...

Then, all of a sudden, there are just three months left!! Days and weeks gain increasing importance, as the first year degree exams threaten to clash with the IPCC exams. Suddenly, you have B.Com project deadlines, practicals and the final exams which come all at once. Though they don't consume much effort, you lose precious time preparing and writing them. 3 weeks left for IPCC... Panic attacks start!! For the first time, you begin to doubt your abilities, and wonder if you would even be able to scrape through (Let alone get a rank). You go through the exams as if in a dream....

The waiting period starts..... Also the excitement of interviews and the all-important decisions for articleship. The weighing of options against joining a Big 4 firm or a medium sized firm. Talks with seniors, friends, "trying out" at interviews, maybe, just maybe, your first offer letter!!!!!!

The endless waiting for the results. The Institute, being perverse (some feel sadistic ;)) announce the results on the last possible day, if possible, late at night. Everyone is sick with worry, but do they care?? The results come out, finally, and you utter a prayer and look for the blessed word "PASS". You see it, and collapse with relief (sigh). Sympathize with less lucky friends, celebrate for a few days, and then the most important (and the scariest)... Articleship!!!!!!!