5 Things “Loving Yourself” Actually Means

It’s the age-old supposed cure-all for all of life’s woes (especially involving matters of the heart): “loving yourself first.” I don’t know how many times I’ve had to hear this, but I imagine the number is up there because what I do know is how many times I’ve thought to myself: what does that even mean. Because it used to sound to me like some weird form of narcissism or delusional way of not acknowledging anything wrong you’ve done. It used to sound like it meant you shouldn’t take responsibility for yourself, or something like that. But low and behold, I’ve come to the conclusion that it actually means loving yourself because you are a flawed person, and despite the fact that you are imperfect. And while I’m at it, here are some other things that I think loving yourself really means:
1. Having the courage to forgive yourself. It means being able to acknowledge your humanity, your wrongdoing, but to not let it be a source of internal hatred. To understand that not forgiving yourself is the harshest criticism, and that nobody in your life will be able to love you until you forgive yourself for being human. Embrace your perfectly flawed self; it’s what makes the world so beautifully diverse and interesting.
2. Understanding that not your weight, nor your hair color, nor your choice of clothing, nor the funny way your stomach rolls when you slouch down makes you any less attractive than anybody else. There is not only one way to be beautiful, and loving yourself means realizing your own beauty for what it is, not in the context of how you look compared to anyone else (especially the nauseatingly perfect people in magazines).
3. That you have the choice to do what you love or to continue living a life being submissive to the expectations put on you. Loving yourself means understanding what makes your soul happy, and doing that thing as frequently as you’re able. Regardless of how much money you make, regardless of who judges you for it, and regardless of whether or not you’re wildly successful doing it. All you need to be successful is the knowledge that you are doing what you love most.
4. That not everyone will love you, and that not everybody has to. If you are being true to yourself, and somebody has a problem with that, that is their negative energy to deal with, not yours. Loving yourself means knowing that you will never have the love, praise and approval of absolutely everybody you meet, but that doesn’t reflect anything about who you are.
5. Understanding that you have to love yourself before you can love anybody else, or before anyone else can love you. A relationship filled with anxiety, self-doubt, insecurity, etc. is headed for Hell, and I don’t think that’s news to anybody. You have to feel worthy of love, and that comes from loving yourself. How is someone else going to think you’re totally awesome when even you don’t think you are? A: they’re not. The greatest thing loving yourself means is that once you do, you’re better equipped to let the world love you as well.

People Watch

There are three types of people in this world:

Some people are naturally "for" the people.. Those who can immediately connect into a group, instantly become popular and eventually the leader. They leave a mark on every person they touch, and others only gaze after them in awe, perhaps envy. They are idolised, at least for that phase. But I've also seen that many times, such people are also the most insecure, always seeking attention, adulation and approval from others. Popularity is extremely fickle, and respect not easily earned. Also, very often, they are very lonely, even right in the midst of a crowd. They have very few close friends.

Others are the "quiet leaders". Without seeming to do much, they always manage to swing the group their way, because they earn respect, and their opinions carry weight. They may not always be the life of the group, but they are definitely the soul. They have a few close friends whom they keep close, and don't really care what the world thinks of them. In spite of, or perhaps because of their non- flamboyance, they capture everyone's hearts.

The third type of person is the indifferent. They are content to follow the crowd, simply because they don't care enough, or are afraid to voice their opinion. They may have brains, but are simply too lazy to use them, or think it's cool to pretend not to care. After a while, they are simply not noticed and fade into the background.

They say that it takes all types of people to make this world. I agree. If all these types of people and temperaments wouldn't exist, life would be extremely dull.

Every person you meet is part of your story. Some may be integral parts, while some you may simply brush off. We choose whether to add that spice in our story, or simply leave it bland :)

14 Things That Show You What Actually Matters To You

1. The things you’re able to write honestly about.

I know it’s not for everybody, but I really take refuge in writing, especially in a personal journal where I’m not worried about censoring myself for an audience. It’s in these moments of vulnerability and honesty that the things I most genuinely believe and struggle with come forth. I see the trends in what these things are, and many elements of who I most genuinely am are intertwined in them. You are who you are when you’re honest and uninfluenced by the fear of being judged by others.

2. The reasons why you can’t let go of someone, not just the fact that you can’t.

Sometimes we hang around because we don’t want to be alone, or we are so concerned with being loved that the alternative seems unbearable. It’s not the fact that you’re holding on, it’s the reasons why you’re holding on… they’ll say a lot about you.

3. The things you insist on holding on to.

It’s not always a person or a relationship. Sometimes, it’s ideas about ourselves or literal, physical things or even jobs we don’t want or goals we are adamant about achieving. It’s difficult to let go of the things that you use to define yourself, but when you do, you can actually find yourself.

4. The quotes or lyrics that resonate with you and comfort you; you recognize something of yourself in them.

When people share quotes or lyrics on social media it’s usually because there is something they are trying to communicate. They recognize a truth in whatever beautiful, artistic way someone else was able to put it, and it’s easier than simply stating things that aren’t always pleasant to admit. Essentially, look for the things you are most drawn to in art. It’s touching on something inside of you.

5. The moments that you cry without wanting to.

Some very specific moments come to mind when I think of this, and it really has everything to do with recognizing the things that you are so inherently invested in that you are driven to the edge by them. You’re influenced by a force that is far greater than anything in your finite control.

6. The reasons you are crying, and the things you’re crying for.

When you’re upset about something you know is irrelevant or you keep acting out toward loved ones who have not done anything wrong, there is something deeper brewing that is coming forth with the same strength that you are using to oppress it. Try to come to terms with the real reasons you’re lashing out.

7. The thoughts that don’t lessen.

There is some saying that goes, note the things that you think about first thing in the morning and last before you fall asleep. It’s usually a person, but not always. But really, let your thoughts show you where your heart is. It’s a difficult task, because your thoughts can very often be irrational and untamed, but if you’re able, see where your heart leads your mind.

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8. The moments you accept what you cannot change.

There are few things more beautiful than the day you decide to start doing this. It’s the moment you choose to be okay because you understand that you cannot control anything but how you react to a situation, and how you continue on with your life.

9. The day you understand that you are in control of your life.

It is far too often that people place blame on everybody else when really, you can either sit in your misery or you can do something and change your life. You can think of a hundred excuses as to why you can’t, or why you should hold on a bit longer, or why change and acceptance is impossible, but you’re not providing any sound reasoning. It will still, and always, come back to: it won’t change until you change it.

10. The moment you choose to do what you want, because you want.

It’s when you really, honestly don’t care about what someone else will think. You’ll know you have arrived when you aren’t thinking to yourself, oh, I don’t care what they think, so I’ll do this, but rather, wow, I really want to do this, and I’m going to. It’s when you don’t even acknowledge or give your time or energy to worrying about the opinions of people who do not matter.

11. The moment that you finally understand what it is that you want.

Sometimes I struggle with the fact that I know what I want, but I don’t want to admit it. I think it sounds silly. I think it makes me sound weak. I think I have to be misguided and there is something else I could want more… but no, it’s just that I’m afraid of really acknowledging what I want, for the fear that it will never come. All that matters is that you know what it is you want more than anything. You don’t have anything to prove to anyone, and you don’t need to be ashamed. It’s something only you need to know.

12. The things you are still willing to sacrifice anything for.

Very simply put, they are the things that still matter to you, even if you feel like you’ve given up caring about everything else.

13. The ways you plead with God or the higher universe.

There is something I hear people say a lot when praying to God, whoever that is, and it’s: please God, don’t let this happen. The key there being, “don’t let.” As if God were some preventative force that could maneuver fate or what it is you’ve attracted or created in your life. Realize that the belief that God is within each person is valid in many ways, and you should tap into that expanse to do for yourself what you’re waiting for someone else to take care of.

14. The light you finally find, and what it is for you.

What does the resolution look like? When you had the breakthrough, and the epiphany, what was it? The light at the end of the tunnel is different for different people, and what it is will tell you most of what you are looking to know.

Courtesy- Thought Catalog

My dreams

My dreams, hereto confessed:

1. Dream No. 1: To fall in love, and to be the best friend I can possibly be.

2. Dream No. 2: To write a romance novel

3. Dream No. 3: To be an immensely successful CEO, whom the world will point at with pride.

4. Dream No. 4: To be an actress on the stage.

5. Dream No. 5: To be a playwright.

6. Dream No. 6: To live on my own.

7. Dream No. 7: To travel the world.

Outlet

Sometimes, I wish there was someone I could really talk to... Someone I could trust completely. So far, I've never let any one inside.. I always have feared betrayal, or worse, mockery. The weird part is, I've come close, several times, with a few people, but have always drawn back at the last moment, because I somehow felt they wouldn't be able to empathize.

I usually enjoy keeping my thoughts, wishes and feelings to myself.. But right now, I feel I'm about to burst any moment, with all the hate, jealousies, spite and resentment bottled up so tight. I have to work hard to maintain a pleasant facade, but I fear that cracks have begun to appear. The negativity is bursting at the seams and some of it is spilling out. I used to have a reputation for endless patience, but that same patience is fading, and fast. These days, I snap at each and every person for the smallest things, and think uncharacteristically poisonous things!! I see my friends looking at me strangely....

I desperately wish I could live alone!! I don't really want to answer to anyone, or account for every second of my time. I don't want to have to justify my friends or my feelings. I want to make mistakes, stumble, and get back up, without having to depend on anyone. Till now, I've always been dependent on my parents, and I'm genuinely grateful to them, but I want to start my life, on my terms!! I will answer to no one!!!

I'm sure I sound ungrateful and spiteful, but thats how it is! Right now, I feel useless and stupid, and perhaps thats my fault. But I have this constant feeling that people are looking over my shoulder, and I hate it!!